The Curse of the Stout

[J A]

I don't know what it is but every time I brew a damn Irish stout, something happens in the process to make the biggest mess possible.
Usually it's somewhere in the mash and boil routine where a hose slips and a quart of the stuff runs out on the floor or during transfer to the fermenter where the tubing slips out of the carboy or filling the keg and having just enough in the fermenter to overfill when I take my eyes off it too close to the end.
This last batch that I did got through the brewing and fermenting process with only a little slop so didn't make much of a mess. I made certain that the filler tube went all the way to the bottom of the carboy and didn't slink out. When I filled the keg, I was careful to keep watch and the only frustrating spillage was putting the last quart of excess beer into a soda bottle so I could carb-cap it and have some to drink while the keg was carbing - invariably the bottle will wobble and tip over while I'm trying to slip the siphon tube in.
So...all good...very little spillage through the whole process...keg filled and ready for a little CO2 blast through the pickup tube and rocking to get the carbonation process started.
I hooked up the cot to the out side post and all hell broke loose! The pressure relief valve on this particular keg - out of the 5 that I had cleaned and ready - was locked in the open position. Of course, my first instinct, since my hand was already on the CO2 connector was to try to pull it back off. Those things are a tight fit on the wrong side post and so wanted to be stubborn. I turned off the CO2 tank and finally realized that the PRV was open and simply turned the wire ring into position to let it close.
I swear there couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 seconds of frantic flailing and howling and cursing but the damn stuff was blown from one end of the garage to the other. There wasn't a large amount of loss but 30 lbs of pressure made sure that there was maximum coverage. I had just spent several days doing a deep clean and now there was the darkest, stickiest mess possible blown into ever crevice.
Chalk it up to another stout batch. It seems like no other beer that I brew is as consistently perverse as this stout. It makes the biggest mess so, of course, it's the most prone to mishap. Maybe someday I'll have made every dumb misstep enough times to actually head off any small calamities and get all the way mash to the pouring the last pint.

Wish me luck...I still have to get through a party without somehow filling the inside of my tap fridge with brown goo.

 

[Megary]

"Maximum coverage"... Sorry for the mess but thanks for sharing. That was pretty funny.

 

[Sandy Feet]

Life is better when you can make fun of yourself when things go south

 

[J A]

Life is better when you can make fun of yourself when things go south

Didn't seem funny at the time. The yelling and cursing was taken to a new level, I think, even for me.

 

[KaijuSoul]

this will be a great story you can tell and laugh at later though for sure.

 

[Ward Chillington]

The ghost of Guinness past.....

 

[KaijuSoul]

The ghost of Guinness past.....

Dubbel, Dubbel, toil and trouble

 

[Dave Y]

I’m laughing with you, not at you.

I’ve had many smaller iterations of this. Once, I was finishing the wort cool down, started the transfer to the fermenter via my circulation pump. The fermenter I’d just cleaned and sanitized in my spare mash time. I made my numbers but was a little low on volume, having just about 5.0 - 5.25 gallons.
All things considered, I was happy with how the brew day turned out. I hurt my shoulder patting myself on the back.

Then I returned my attention to the transfer to find a growing puddle underneath the fermenter from ... what the heck... I left the port open on the bottom.

It looked like I lost a gallon of wort. In reality it was much less.

 

[BarbarianBrewer]

I’m laughing with you, not at you.

I’ve had many smaller iterations of this. Once, I was finishing the wort cool down, started the transfer to the fermenter via my circulation pump. The fermenter I’d just cleaned and sanitized in my spare mash time. I made my numbers but was a little low on volume, having just about 5.0 - 5.25 gallons.
All things considered, I was happy with how the brew day turned out. I hurt my shoulder patting myself on the back.

Then I returned my attention to the transfer to find a growing puddle underneath the fermenter from ... what the heck... I left the port open on the bottom.

It looked like I lost a gallon of wort. In reality it was much less.

I've done that so often I have a note on my checklist to make sure the valves are closed!

 

[Scottschu]

Laughing with you as well. I think we've all had an unspecting beer bath before. Two biggest mistakes: first somehow not remebering to drain the sanitizer from the ferment before starting the transfer. Second was a stuck blowoff valve - still cleaning that (it was a stout too - maybe there is a jinks)

 

[Bob from Snobs]

I don't know what it is but every time I brew a damn Irish stout, something happens in the process to make the biggest mess possible.
Usually it's somewhere in the mash and boil routine where a hose slips and a quart of the stuff runs out on the floor or during transfer to the fermenter where the tubing slips out of the carboy or filling the keg and having just enough in the fermenter to overfill when I take my eyes off it too close to the end.
This last batch that I did got through the brewing and fermenting process with only a little slop so didn't make much of a mess. I made certain that the filler tube went all the way to the bottom of the carboy and didn't slink out. When I filled the keg, I was careful to keep watch and the only frustrating spillage was putting the last quart of excess beer into a soda bottle so I could carb-cap it and have some to drink while the keg was carbing - invariably the bottle will wobble and tip over while I'm trying to slip the siphon tube in.
So...all good...very little spillage through the whole process...keg filled and ready for a little CO2 blast through the pickup tube and rocking to get the carbonation process started.
I hooked up the cot to the out side post and all hell broke loose! The pressure relief valve on this particular keg - out of the 5 that I had cleaned and ready - was locked in the open position. Of course, my first instinct, since my hand was already on the CO2 connector was to try to pull it back off. Those things are a tight fit on the wrong side post and so wanted to be stubborn. I turned off the CO2 tank and finally realized that the PRV was open and simply turned the wire ring into position to let it close.
I swear there couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 seconds of frantic flailing and howling and cursing but the damn stuff was blown from one end of the garage to the other. There wasn't a large amount of loss but 30 lbs of pressure made sure that there was maximum coverage. I had just spent several days doing a deep clean and now there was the darkest, stickiest mess possible blown into ever crevice.
Chalk it up to another stout batch. It seems like no other beer that I brew is as consistently perverse as this stout. It makes the biggest mess so, of course, it's the most prone to mishap. Maybe someday I'll have made every dumb misstep enough times to actually head off any small calamities and get all the way mash to the pouring the last pint.

Wish me luck...I still have to get through a party without somehow filling the inside of my tap fridge with brown goo.

I've found these type of calamities on brew day are directly related to the quantity of beer consumed during the brew session.

 

[Sandy Feet]

No, it doesn't because anybody stupid enough to be drunk playing with boiling water and heavy equipment doesn't need to be brewing in the first place. One with the mash, sure. "Quantity", um, no.

 

[BarbarianBrewer]

No, it doesn't because anybody stupid enough to be drunk playing with boiling water and heavy equipment doesn't need to be brewing in the first place. One with the mash, sure. "Quantity", um, no.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity!

 

[Craigerrr]

My big epic accident happened while brewing big stout,which later became known as "Bloody Finger"

 

[J A]

No, it doesn't because anybody stupid enough to be drunk playing with boiling water and heavy equipment doesn't need to be brewing in the first place. One with the mash, sure. "Quantity", um, no.

It's usually the case that when the hops go in, I'll pour something to sip on. Usually it's hot as hell and I'm happy to have a refreshing beverage while boil is going. Once the chilling and filling starts, there's too much going on and if I have a beer poured at that point, it'll sit and get warm.

 

[Sandy Feet]

My big epic accident happened while brewing big stout,which later became known as "Bloody Finger"

Actually, I named my first extract beer "Redneck Blood" as I sliced my finger on the thermometer when cooling it down. That was a Stout too LOL.

 

[Craigerrr]

I dropped a glass carboy which took off the pad of my right index finger when it exploded. Took months to heal

 

[Dave Y]

One of my two märzens last year, I was unsticking the worn out roller mill wheels, leaned forward and hit the drill trigger, ripping off a fingernail. The same week I had a wisdom tooth pulled. My buddies and I lovingly referred to that batch as “tooth and nail”.

After I got back from the e-clinic, I finished that brew day, and hit all my numbers

 

[Bigbre04]

So many beers ago, i was pulling a barrel aged imperial stout out of the whiskey barrel. We use essentially a long ss tube with ports on it and a screw in Bung to hold pressure. Needless to say, the barrel got a little higher pressure than intended/the bung was not tightened enough. the "spear" blew out. and black imperial stout covered my coworker and i head to toe. there was black beer raining down all over us...so sticky. there was black beer on the white ceiling bats of the warehouse (30ft) for a very very long time.

Head to toe black beer shower...first for everything i guess.

 

[J A]

So many beers ago, i was pulling a barrel aged imperial stout out of the whiskey barrel. We use essentially a long ss tube with ports on it and a screw in Bung to hold pressure. Needless to say, the barrel got a little higher pressure than intended/the bung was not tightened enough. the "spear" blew out. and black imperial stout covered my coworker and i head to toe. there was black beer raining down all over us...so sticky. there was black beer on the white ceiling bats of the warehouse (30ft) for a very very long time.

Head to toe black beer shower...first for everything i guess.

I swear...it's always the darkest, stickiest stuff that causes trouble. Just yesterday I had to steep some dark grain for my split-batch amber and I'll be damned if I didn't slop and spill a bunch on the stove. Not even anything remotely complicated...just moving a pot from one burner to the next.